I know I have to earn your love: how the family environment shapes feelings of worthiness of love

Abstract

Parental conditional regard is a parenting practice which may lead to negative outcomes for the child. Yet, no research has examined whether feelings of love worthiness may be dependent upon conditional parental regard. Furthermore, certain conditions within the family environment may exacerbate this effect. Across two studies, undergraduate students were asked to report on perceptions of parental conditional regard, aspects of the family life growing up and how often they felt worthy of love (WOL). In Study 1, 91 individuals were asked to respond to open-ended questions about their feelings of parental conditional regard, as well as complete Likert-type questions about their family environment and feelings of love worthiness. In Study 2, 211 individuals completed Likert-type scales assessing their perceptions of parental conditional regard, family environment and feelings of love worthiness. Overall, perceptions of parental conditional regard were associated with feeling WOL less often, and this association was due to the lack of a positive family environment and the presence of negative conditions. These results highlight the importance of parenting practices, specifically a positive family environment, for the development of schemas of the self as WOL from others.

Keywords

• parental conditional regard
• family environment
• feeling worthy of love