The divergence of Conflicts Management Modes in the Conjugal Couple

Abstract

The conflicts management mode in the conjugal couple is a process that differs from one couple to another. Within the same couple, this process is likely to undergo changes in direction. In this study, we examine the how and why of the emergence of these divergences. This study aims to understand how the divergence of conflicts management modes occurs in the conjugal couple. This work is based on an inductive approach. The orientation is essentially qualitative, using semi-structured interviews. To analyze this study, we used the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI) [7], which assesses spouses’ behaviours as a social group in a conflicts situation based on two fundamental dimensions: Assertiveness and cooperation. A) Assertiveness, where the individual seeks to satisfy their own concerns, and B) cooperation, where the individual tries to address the concerns of the other person (empathy/altruism).The results have shown that the conflicts management mode in the conjugal couple is the result of a historical process that is prone to divergences. These, generated by the behaviours of the spouses such as domestic violence, infidelity, disappointment, greed, the expansion of the social circle, as well as acts of altruism and kindness, are capable of tilting the balance of their conflicts resolution mode ranging from assertiveness to empathy towards their partner. This study highlights the influence of the spouses’ behaviours throughout their marital life on their choice of conflicts management mode and therefore on the quality of the marital relationship.

Keywords

• altruism
• conflict management
• disappointment
• divergence
• domestic violence extramarital relationships
• kindness
• process
• secondary socialization
• selfishness