Ace and Poly: The Motivations and Experiences of People on the Ace Spectrum in Polyamorous Relationships

Abstract

While the past two decades have seen an increase in research into both asexuality and polyamory, little is known about their intersection, that is, people who identify as asexual and engage in polyamorous relationships. Using an online survey, we explored the experiences of participants who identify as asexual or on the ace spectrum (e.g., demisexual, gray-asexual) and were in a polyamorous relationship at the time of the survey (N = 321). The majority of our participants identified as White (79.02%), a plurality identified as women (27.1%), and ages ranged from 18 to 53 years old (M = 29.55, SD = 6.77). Two qualitative questions related to motivations for engaging in polyamory were analyzed for this study (N = 224). The first question asked about personal motivations, and the second asked about partner(s)’s influence. Eight codes emerged across the two questions: Needs fulfillment, Exploration/contemplation, Solution to relationship conflict/personal insecurity, a Desire to connect with multiple people, Personal/relationship growth, Rejecting monogamy, Introduced by partner, and Other/no additional context. One additional code was found in Q2: Reluctance/jealousy/distrust. The most common code overall was Exploration/contemplation. Our findings indicate that fulfilling a partner’s sexual needs was not a primary motivating factor for ace individuals engaged in polyamory. Ace individuals were more likely to describe experiences as exploring their identity and fulfilling personal needs for connection and intimacy. These findings indicate that motivations for engaging in polyamory are not solely centered in fulfilling sexual desires, and they may have larger implications for the what the scope of romantic and sexual relationships can look at outside of a monogamous and heteronormative context.

Keywords

• ace spectrum
• asexual
• polyamory
• relationships