Time

Abstract

Time My index finger was reaching for the up button on the elevator when the voice sounded above, Code Blue Tower 8. Code Blue Tower 8. I broke for the stairs. They were getting the paddles in place; the First Year with the floppy hair, Ethan, pumping the chest; the Night Float, Emily, manning an Ambu-Bag; Jamie, the Resident, running the code. I dared a look at the face – Ken, with whom I’d traded jokes for twenty years – Ken, whom I’d told yesterday his time was coming – he’d be back home, maybe two days. Clear! barked Jamie. Hands backed away, motion suspended. A very long second. The shape on the bed gave a shudder. Then Jamie’s voice: Excellent, a rhythm. A rhythm – but no pulse. Hands were pumping again, counting, squeezing in air. The spark was there on the screen – life, dancing across it – but none of the tiny muscles in the heart were listening. Epi. Atropine. Thirty minutes. Ethan looked up at Jamie, she shot a glance at me. Someone had to say it – and first right of refusal to the guy with gray hair. A power none of us wished for – a power none of us have – but the world pretends. I felt my head move up and down. Jamie’s eyes found the clock – 7:44 AM, she said. Time.