Using Entitled Requests to Pursue Closeness in Conversations Between Young Adult Romantic Couples

Abstract

I utilized a discourse analytic approach to examine how young adult couples pursue closeness by negotiating entitled requests in their everyday interactions. Although freely expressing entitled requests may at times be treated as relationally off-putting, I suggest that they may be a method that romantic partners use to enact closeness or intimacy, albeit counterintuitively, by pursuing controversy. I draw on data to reveal how entitled requests are often formulated to do a lot more than simply ask for things. They are used to engage in relational coaching, offer object lessons, and reciprocal tit-for-tats, but are typically created in light-hearted ways that involve humor, exaggeration, and sarcasm. I show that the interactive contexts for making and receiving entitled requests can be a valuable space for observing how relational expectations are negotiated to index accountability, relational identities, and the cultural communicative norms which govern romantic relationships among young adults.

Keywords

• entitled requests
• romantic couples
• natural conversations
• discourse analysis
• identity
• young adults