Revista Latinoamericana de Estudios sobre Cuerpos, Emociones y Sociedad (Aug 2013)
The “tightrope walker love”. Contradictions emotional political relations new loving
Abstract
The purpose of this paper is, on the one hand, to describe what I call “tightrope walker love” –the contemporary model of love in Western societies−; on the other, I aim to examine critically its contradictions. This new style of love, which has transcended, but not totally overcome, traditional romanticism, and which is near A. Giddens’ “confluent love” and “pure relation”, has the following features: in relation to its predecessors, it is more democratic; more individualistic; more intimate; more sophisticated from the point of view of emotional intelligence and pliable sexuality; more egalitarian; more utilitarian; and more legalist. However, two kinds of contradictions may be raised: external and internal. External contradictions involve, firstly, the flexibility of the labor market and the economy, in contrast with the psychological assumption of couples and families; and secondly, gender inequality, which denies the whole project. The internal contradictions –those that affect its self-description− may be summed up in the antinomy “liquidity” versus “attachment”. I will conclude arguing in favor of this new style of love, which is morally superior to the other models available, and contend that is contradictions, even if not completely solved, may be softened to a great extent.
